Why do not the believing men and women, whenever such [a rumour] is heard, think the best of one another and say, “This is an obvious falsehood” ?

Why do they not [demand of the accusers that they] produce four witnesses to prove their allegation? – for if they do not produce such witnesses, it is those [accusers] who, in the sight of God, are liars indeed!…

…when you take it up with your tongues, uttering with your mouths something of which you have no knowledge, and deeming it a light matter whereas in the sight of God it is an awful thing!

And [once again]: Why do you not say, whenever you hear such [a rumour ], It does not behove us to speak of this, O Thou who art limitless in Thy glory: this is an awesome calumny”?

AN-NUR  (12 – 16) 


Quite honestly I’m growing tired of the on-going prattle among members of the “weaker’ sex who are getting “stronger” by the day in passing inconsequential information about this n that!

Much of the talk these days is about WHO did WHAT to WHICH part of their anatomy!  And whose efforts succeeded and whose attempts at tempering with nature failed dismally! And you know who… tops the list of women brave enough to look slimmer or prettier or younger! Of course the failures are described with much relish and disbelief that VANITY – THY NAME IS WOMAN! With such gloating satisfaction!

Frankly I couldn’t care a damn about other women’s beauty secrets which they should keep to themselves and not blabber about to friends and acquaintances! They should be as sacred as the rest of our toilet activities- which after all are but human attempts to maintain an equilibrium with the forces of nature!

If God made you slim, I suppose it is your duty and responsibility to maintain a decent level of slimness! If the Almighty so decreed that you will be pretty, you are obliged to maintain a reasonable level of care so that you will not disappoint Him. If Mother Nature has conferred on you the elixir of youthful good looks it doesn’t hurt to give it some daily nurturing and moisturising!

But ladies! Plea-ea-ea-ea-se! You don’t have to talk about it on and on! There’s more to life than stories and anecdotes about your dietary habits and your vitamin supplements and your aches and pains.

Come on! We all have our fair share of health and medical woes! This – God has decreed! So make the best and the most of what you still have, not what you used to have! We all used to be young and pretty – and now we’ve grown older and old!  SO WHAT!

Ladies – one thing that you can really do with great success is to keep your minds always refreshed!  Keep your thoughts running at breakneck speed if you can so that your adrenalin level remains high! Read, surf the net, attend forums and platforms no matter how small so that you have the opportunity to interact with big minds and hearts and souls!

And when you have a chance to talk or say something do tarry a while to think first before you blurt out your contributions! There’s nothing more annoying than somebody with verbal diarrhoea or worse still mental constipation! Especially when they are well-heeled and well-connected!

We must be stronger and better empowered YES!

But in the right things YES?

I’d like to share with you some lines from the wonderful poem ITHAKA:

” As you set out for Ithaka

hope the voyage is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians and Cyclops

angry Poseidon – don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body…

Keep Ithaka always in your mind

Arriving there is what you are destined for.

But do not hurry the journey at all

Better if it lasts for years,

so you are old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all the wealth you have gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvellous journey.

Without her, you would not have set out…


4 Responses to “”

  1. April 8, 2009 at 10:34 pm

    This bothers me also.. It actually makes me feel disconnected from certain women because it is so trivial… I think, just like with some men talking about what they own, their cars, their expensive watches, etc.. it just has to do with materialism and conveying the image of a certain lifestyle… it is too bad, but if one is shallow, one is shallow…

  2. 2 ninitalk
    April 9, 2009 at 7:27 am

    You are right Sarah – it’s an ego thing, the need to tell let others know about oneself, about how good one is etc. The next thing is to compare oneself with others. Here lies the danger – that in doing so one puts others down!

    You are right again – some people don’t want to be deep, or can’t!

  3. April 10, 2009 at 2:52 am

    true true true!

    I guess we are all guilty of such act of low self esteem but it’s really the degree of it that inspired you to write about this! I think it’s innately an Asian trait to be caught up materially as an obvious sign of success and achievement without realizing that the success itself should really speak for itself. I call it the “silent elegance” because if we still have to shout, and some even rattle and roll about it, then I guess true success has not come knocking on the door yet!

    But who ever said success equals to titles, fancy cars and homes, spotlight beating jewelry, unused assets, trophy wives or rich and royal husbands etc?
    It is indeed shallow but one can easily be misconstrued as being jealous no? perhaps a little but give me brilliant and bright children who can take on the world that loves their parents, a charitable heart with no agenda, passion for self development, achievement in motivating or changing a person’a life, continuous knowledge seeking pursuit, natural beauty that is more inside than outside, old friends that remain friends despite it all, grateful to god for everything they have and don’t have, good health and most importantly a family that supports and stays together… this is my definition of success!

    money can’t buy love, respect, wisdom, happiness, health, style, class, admiration and most importantly, a meaningful life.

    btw, you are slim, pretty and youthful so I can just imagine you being the subject of gossip by some “women” that you cutely describe above! Life is such and perhaps this is why it’s interesting… so as the saying goes… “damned if you do and damned if you don’t!”

    I hope this is one of the best comments you have received to date and yes, it’s probably my low self esteem seeking the endorsement!


  4. 4 ninitalk
    April 10, 2009 at 4:41 am

    Thanks for your honesty cowboymalaysia!
    Yes – we’ve all done this some time or other, but to go on and on is wasteful! Most women do it out of cattiness rather than jealousy I think. Yes – we’re all subject to conjecture, gossip, rumour or slander among people who don’t know us well but the public figures and celebrities get more of this!

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