When it comes to sharing a heartache or having good, clean fun there’s nothing to beat the empathy that women have with one another. When the grief is deep or the joy overwhelming, the solidarity comes with a mutual understanding of the confines of their existence in a world otherwise dominated by men!

For despite the strides civilisation has made both in the East and West, women’s basic functions and duties as wife and mother have remained the same. Whether by reason of biology and her physiological make-up or by socio-cultural design and engineering, a woman’s domestic obligations remain her main raison d’etre, her main purpose in life.

Even when she’s blessed with God-given talents and Man-driven skills, she is never far from having to fulfil her family obligations, in particular child-rearing and care-giving. Having a career makes her task that much harder, her guilt that much more difficult to bear. For say what you like, more is expected of a woman in the day to day management of the household than the man of the house who by religious decree and tradition, is the breadwinner, the lord of the manor so to speak. Sometimes his behaviour is lording indeed!

Nothing is more equalising than the predicament of women across the universe, traversing religious divides, crossing ethnic boundaries, across socio-economic classes and feudal stratas.

Thus, just as business and professional networking defines the limits of a man’s working life common concerns in household matters define a woman’s social networking. Lately fashion, song, dance and food  provide good get-aways from the demands of household management.


Women who make time to bond with one another are better adjusted to undertake their roles and responsibilities as wives, mothers, career women and professionals because they are giving themselves the space to grow as individuals and to be recognised as such. Views and opinions are given more freely and inhibitions break down away from the scrutinising and sometimes judgemental eyes of domineering husbands and possessive children.

It’s wonderful that more and more women are seeking opportunities to develop their interests out of the confines of their home and family. It’s wonderful if out of the social networking, women nurture interests in the arts, art and craft, books and literature, business and entrepreneurship apart from the usual cookery and interior design.

Out of the lunches should ensue dance classes, art and craft workshops, book clubs, speech and writing workshops, charities etc. As women become better educated and exposed their interests will widen and their quest for freedom and equality will manifest itself in more creative forms. They will become the wives and mothers adored and beloved by their husband and children.

More importantly they will become fulfilled individuals – with a dignity and a sense of purpose as they contribute to society as much as their male compatriots and the men in their lives!     



5 Responses to “”

  1. 1 dannalli
    November 14, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    Nothing much to add .. thanks Nini for the pics and the men of their lives should be proud of. The men like Salleh,Halim,Rahim,Mustaffa Babjee,Zaman Khan, R Rizman and HRH SSPJ and of course your husband. And those gentlemen should never take their wives for granted.

    Another lady of a fulfilled individual is the wife of the late MHY, who is what ?… your ‘biras’. Referring to your last posting on Poco .. in music, Poco mean ‘a little’ which is Italian I guess. She was the one who brought in that line dance Poco-Poco and was made famous by HRH Raja Perempuan Perlis when she was the Raja Puan Muda and later as Her Majety.

  2. 2 ninitalk
    November 14, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    I’m really surprised you know who these good ladies are and can match them with their better halves! I thought we are mostly anonymous and are recognizable only when we are behind the men so to speak! Good to know! Good to know we are indeed people in our own right and individuals with rights! So mind what you say or do HA HA!

    I’m not sure if my beautiful and gracious biras is responsible for bringing in the poco poco but I do know she dances it very gracefully like she does most things. A real lady I must say! And a brilliant cook whose nasi briyani ayam is to die for!


  3. 3 dannalli
    November 15, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    He .. he .. Nini, I can go on and on with the names like HE Kamaruddin, Rashidi, Arif … but I want to remain anonymous too.

    Indeed your beautiful and gracious biras was the one who first introduced that dance during the wedding of Ku Din at Holiday Villa quite sometime ago as her ‘besan’ is from her kampong.

    P.S … can’t help to notice both besans in the group photo, referring to Perlis Tg Puteri’s mum-in-law. I think she is, the one standing next to Ku Lina.

  4. 4 ninitalk
    November 15, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    You are right! You are right! I’ve attended a few functions involving the Perlis royalty as my other biras (guess who?) is from Perlis. And I was Chief Editor of the book on Tuanku Syed Sirajuddin’s reign as the 12th Yang Di Pertuan Agong THE KING THE MAN.

  5. 5 dannalli
    November 15, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    TS Ariffin is another lucky guy as that is another beautiful and a fine lady. It was years since we last met … with the last departing words with her were .. “see you when I see you”

    Keep writing and keep up the good work.

    God Bless you and your family.

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